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Kevin Durant’s alleged burner accounts are incredibly lame and totally understandable – SB Nation

There are rumors swirling in the cesspool we refer to as the internet that Kevin Durant has created fake social media accounts and uses them to argue with people who say bad things about him online.

The evidence is compelling: Durant replied to a few people on Twitter from his actual account, referring to himself in the third person and defending himself for leaving Oklahoma City a year ago to join the Warriors. It seems like he forgot to log out of his verified Twitter and into his fake account before hopping online to throw some virtual hands.

There is also a chance he’s doing this on Instagram under the nom-de-gram “quiresultan.” I don’t know what quire means, so let’s look it up:


Hmm, apparently it’s “four sheets of paper or parchment folded to form eight leaves, as in medieval manuscripts.” A sultan is a king — a supreme leader, a sovereign — so if this is indeed Durant, he is referring to himself as King of the Eight-Page Book (SB Nation’s very own Tim Cato did some digging and found out that Quire and Sultan are roads in Durant’s hometown).

Anyway, I hope these rumors are true with every single ounce of my being.

Look, being a famous athlete is hard. Yes, you make bajillions of dollars, but your every move is scrutinized, and you can never make anyone happy. And that’s just for athletes who don’t piss people off by changing teams the way Durant did.

No, folks, being an athlete who made a decision that many people don’t like (but I respect) is even harder. You have everyone from Stephen A. Smith on TV to Your Uncle on Twitter shouting at the camera and bitching online about how you lack integrity, grit, moral fiber, and (insert admirable characteristic here). You can’t fire back too often, because if you’re constantly defending yourself, you’ve let the haters know their criticisms are getting under your skin.

Can you imagine how frustrating that must be?

There’s a counter-argument to be made here that goes something like this: Sure, Kevin, I see where that must be annoying, but you’re an incredible athlete, and you’re making millions of dollars, and you just won the NBA Finals. LET IT GO!!!!!

^ You make a good point.

HOWEVA, as Stephen A. would say, Durant is still a person with feelings and the ability to act on them. He is also proud. Put both of those traits together and it becomes very easy to see how a man might let his pride get the better of him and spiral into some abyss where he finds the need to create Twitter eggs and Instagram trolls to hit back at those who would defame him.

And you know what? I’m here for it.

I love imagining Durant coming up with the fake names, then the passwords, then the email addresses for the fake names and the passwords, then logging out of his real account to log into his fake accounts, then tracking down the people with two followers that talk shit about him, and then talk shit back.

That’s what gets me about this. Imagine the level of involvement and effort this superstar basketball player would have to expend to fight the battles he might be fighting in the dark corners of the internet. He’d be like a reverse super hero. Not a villain, but some odd self-savior who has to avenge his own honor in such small ways that most people would literally never see it.

Because that’s the other thing — it’s not like millions of people were aware of what might’ve been his responses to the trolls until Monday morning. The only people who could see them are the Joe Shmoes in their parents’ basements or incognito Google Chrome browsers at work who said the bad things in the first place.

Durant might be painstakingly replying to normal people for nothing more than the chance to defend his honor to the tiniest audience possible.

Look, here’s the bottom line

I totally understand the impulse Durant would be indulging here. It’s also incredibly lame.

Two things can be true at once. It doesn’t matter whether this makes you like Durant more or less. It doesn’t matter if you find this funny or insanely pathetic.

All that matters is that, at the very least, it’s human and quite entertaining. It’s one more piece of evidence that the NBA is the greatest sports league we have. High school drama has nothing on the professional basketball players of America, and I hope that never changes.

So if nothing else, thank you, KD, for keeping things interesting. We don’t deserve you, Quiresultan.

Kevin Durant’s alleged burner accounts are incredibly lame and totally understandable – SB Nation

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